How to talk to someone experiencing homelessness

If you have never been homeless, talking to someone who is can feel awkward. The awkwardness is mostly on your side — for the person being addressed, you are usually a small relief from being invisible. Here is what people who work with the homeless population suggest.

Make eye contact and say hello

The single most common thing people on the street report is being ignored, walked past, looked through. A nod and a "hi" or a "good morning" costs nothing and is usually the most meaningful interaction someone has in an hour.

You don't have to give anything to acknowledge someone exists. And acknowledging someone exists is a real thing.

Ask, don't assume

If you want to help and have time for a brief conversation: "Is there anything you need right now?" is better than guessing.

The answer is often something small and concrete you can do — point them to the nearest open bathroom, hand them a bottle of water, top up their phone's charge from a portable battery, tell them where the nearest day shelter is. Sometimes the answer is "no, but thanks for asking," and that is fine too.

What to give

If you want to give something tangible:

• Cash is more useful than most people think. Yes, some of it goes to alcohol or drugs. Most of it goes to food, transit, phone minutes, laundry, a place to sit indoors for an hour. The popular fear that giving cash "enables" people overestimates how much money is at stake and underestimates the value of someone being able to make their own choices about what they need most that day.
• A meal from a nearby restaurant, if you can wait while they tell you what they want.
• Practical items: socks (the single most-requested item at most shelters), a phone charger, a granola bar, a bottle of water, hand warmers in winter, sunscreen in summer, hygiene items.
• A printed list of local resources — addresses and hours of the nearest shelter, food pantry, day center, and clinic. You can make this once and carry copies. If you'd rather hand them a card, this site's URL (homelesshelp.net) and a phone number for 211 are a reasonable substitute.

What not to say

A few things that sound kind in your head and land badly in person:

• "Why don't you go to a shelter?" — Usually they have, and have specific reasons it isn't an option right now. Asking implies you assume they haven't thought about it.
• "Get a job." — Most homeless adults have worked recently or are currently working. Many are working and homeless. Saying this is mostly a way to signal you don't want to engage.
• "I'll pray for you." — Some people appreciate this; many feel it is a substitute for help they could use right now. If you do this, also offer something concrete.
• "What happened to you?" — Their story is not owed to you. Some will share; many won't, especially with a stranger. Don't push.

If you think someone is in danger

If you see someone who appears unconscious, severely injured, or in serious medical distress, call 911. (Or 988 if they seem to be in mental health crisis but not physical danger.) In some cities you can also call a non-emergency outreach line — 211 will tell you which one operates in your area.

In freezing weather, severe heat, or extreme exposure, getting someone indoors is genuinely urgent. Most cities have warming centers and cooling centers that open seasonally — 211 will know which are open.

Reasonable expectations

You are not going to single-handedly end someone's homelessness in a five-minute interaction. You are also not making things worse by being kind. The right scale of expectation is: "I want this person to have one decent human interaction today, and I want them to know about one resource they might not have known about." That is a fully worthwhile thing.

If you want to do more, the Help Out page covers volunteering, donating, and political action.